I am thoroughly enjoying a modern engagement. We need to customise existing morals with the needs of us as a couple. Some traditions do not seem as necessary now. And we feel more comfortable that way.
The engagement started more than a month after we moved in together. This was not a 'try before you buy' mentality. We were constantly with each other whenever possible, before even considering cohabitation. We felt committed very early on.
Commitment takes many forms. Many marriages end within months, years, or decades. Yet we feel comfortable and happily committed without signing a piece of paper. Contracts do not guarantee relationships. They symbolise them.
I will gladly sign my life away with a contract on my wedding day. That piece of paper will not ensure our relationship. The document will symbolise it. We will have a creative formal celebration of our public lifelong relationship.
As the woman, I felt untraditional enough to do the proposing. I wasn't going to wait for years on end for a postmodern man to decide on a traditional concept like marriage. We are a partnership. Our choices are made together as a team. This decision is no different. I loved proposing and wouldn't do it any other way.
The rings were equally democratic. That's right, there was a plural in that sentence. Normally, the gentleman would get on one knee with a ring in a box for the woman to wear. He would wander around with nothing on his hands, missing that symbolism which she holds during engagement. We are different.
My fiancee wanted to wear an engagement ring too. He wanted that same symbolic public display of affection, which is the engagement ring. Why not? I figured it is his choice. I hadn't thought of the idea. But it makes him happy and makes sense.
My man picked out a silver band with a diagonal row of diamonds. He is able to show this commitment he holds towards the person he loves. And I'm sure the jeweller wasn't complaining about this double sale.
Traditional engagement rings are fine and pretty. But this was about what I was going to wear on my hand day in and day out. It needed to be versatile and simple, but with personality and flair. Two wavy lines of diamonds wrapped themselves around a loopy golden band. This felt different and beautiful. And it's unique.
It felt more practical than the protruding traditional engagement rings. I felt less worried about the diamonds getting caught on clothing or feeling too bumpy. I am happy.
Everything has been different to normal. We modernised the way to do a courtship, proposal, and ring. It's not about the bling. It's about the love. Life is not one bit Beyonce song. I'm not going to say, "If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it." I am completely blissful after this beautiful way to symbolise my blessed relationship. We can enjoy symbolism and institutions without being defined by them. We are happy.