Happily Single

Singleness is amazing. It is joyfully independent. There is so much freedom to do almost anything.  

I have nothing against coupled life. That's another fun adventure. But being single is not worse than being a couple. It's just different. And it has its own worth.

This idea is turning into a blog post before it is then presented as a speech. I just realised I have to do a speech on absolutely anything tomorrow. What is the one issue which was pressing on myself and close friends? Singleness. Let's get to the bottom of it.

There is never a quiet minute as a singular individual. There are so many friends to catch up with. There are so many projects to create.  Yet not everybody sees the amazing benefits.

Life alone is different to the stereotypes. The most common are the hermit cat lady. The other is a philosophical explanation. Both images wrongly suggest there is something wrong with singles.

My generation associate it with Bridget Jones. Who could forget that British overweight character? Her desperation came out as she sung, "All by myself..." Apparently, as a twenty something who is not officially dating, that's how I must be spending my evenings. We're not all Bridget. Some of us are love by friends regardless of whether we are dating.

Another stereotype appears online. I searched the word, "singleness" into Google. Most of the search results were religious. There is nothing wrong with being religious. But Google assumes that I must be choosing single life to please God. Or Google says God will comfort the lonely miserable single people. God is cool, if that's what you're into. However, some of us are happy alone simply for the sake of it. Not everyone needs a religious excuse to fly solo. Google took quite a leap to assume otherwise.

Are you surprised at this point? Why is Melanie going on and on about the benefits of lonesome life? There is just so much fun to be had! Mainstream media have been putting coupledom on a pedestal for years. Finding a partner has been the holy grail of bucket list goals since it got onto the cover of Cleo. These goals are fine for some people. However, they are not everything in the world.

I recently went on a holiday with other people, and enjoyed plenty of time by myself. It was a great social experiment. What happens when Melanie actually has spare time? There were three days of peaceful bliss.

I took myself shopping on day one. I treated myself to beautiful bargain dresses which look like top quality. Friends, shopping is not the ideal date. The time constraints, the second opinions on outfits, it's a hand full... Bandaged body con dress? Why not? Crazy printed floor length gown? There will be something to wear it to. That's what happens when roaming stores alone.

On the second day, I took myself to the theatre. Yes, this is also a great date venue. However, treat yourself to a quiet date with just you. I got myself the wine-and-truffles deal at the theatre bar. There was nobody there to question the one glass of wine in the middle of the day. I quietly relaxed in the indulgent arm chairs in an elaborate waiting area. Take yourself on a date to the theatre. You will thank yourself for it.

The third day involved taking myself to the gallery. This is an exquisite venue for solo relaxation. Soak up the visual awe of all forms of art. Pose for a selfie outside the gallery (I have yet to invest in a selfie stick). I treated myself after a few hours at a gallery recently. I got for myself samosas, a churro, and frozen yoghurt. Add to your gallery trip anything which makes you happy. Take your leisurely time, experiencing diversity. Alone.

These are just some of the many places you can explore with the friendly person known as you. If you can't be kind to yourself, you will struggle to appreciate kindness from someone else. Singleness. It's not a curse. It's a gift.


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